It may be tempting to shield our preschoolers from the events of September 11th, but these are conversations that demand our attention and gentle explanations. As we commemorate the bravery, resilience, and unity that emerged from this tragedy, we also find ourselves pondering how to discuss it with our young children.

Talking to preschoolers about September 11th might feel overwhelming or daunting. It is crucial to approach the subject with compassion and age-appropriate explanations. By fostering open dialogue, we can provide a safe space for our little ones to process what happened.

If you have an older child, I would encourage you to read this article from The Homeschool Breakroom. She also has a great video on the article to help you!

Preparing Yourself for the Discussion

Preparing yourself for the discussion is a crucial aspect of discussing September 11th with preschoolers. As caregivers and educators, we must recognize and acknowledge our own feelings about the events before engaging in the conversation. September 11th was and still is a deeply impactful and emotional event for many. It is natural to have personal reactions to such a significant historic tragedy. By taking the time to process your emotions beforehand, you can approach the discussion with a calm and composed demeanor, setting a positive example for your child and creating a safe space for their own emotional expressions.

Educating ourselves about September 11th is equally important. Before initiating the conversation, it is essential to gather accurate information from reputable sources. Being well-informed allows you to present the facts in a clear and concise manner, avoiding the spread of misinformation. Moreover, understanding the historical context and significance of the events enables you to frame the discussion appropriately and address your child’s questions with accuracy and confidence.

Anticipating potential questions and emotional reactions from your child is a key aspect of being prepared as a communicator. Young children often have curious and inquisitive minds, and discussions about sensitive topics can elicit a range of emotional responses. By considering possible questions and reactions in advance, you can plan appropriate responses that are honest, simple, and reassuring. Being prepared ensures that you can guide the conversation effectively and provide the necessary support and comfort in the conversation.

Self Reflections Questions:

• What are my own feelings and emotions about September 11th? How can I manage these emotions during the conversation to create a supportive environment for my child?
• Have I thoroughly educated myself about the historical context and accurate information regarding September 11th?
• Am I prepared to offer reassurance and support as my child process their feelings about the topic?
• Am I in the right headspace to have this conversation now? Do I need to find someone else to have the conversation? Do I need to put it off to another time?

A great book to read is The Day The World Came to Town by Jim Defede. I have a review of it here. This is one of my favorite books!

Understanding Your Child

Understanding your child and their development as well as previous knowledge is the first crucial step when talking to preschoolers about sensitive events like September 11th. Preschoolers’ cognitive and emotional development varies significantly from older children and adults. At this age, they are still developing their ability to reason and fully comprehend complex concepts. Therefore, it is essential to tailor the discussion to their developmental level, using simple language and concrete examples they can relate to.

You need to assess their readiness to comprehend difficult topics. This is vital to ensure that the conversation is not overwhelming for them. Some children may be more emotionally sensitive or prone to anxiety, while others may display a natural curiosity about the world. By gauging their readiness, you can adjust the depth and intensity of the discussion, making it more accessible and engaging for them. Remember, the goal is to create an environment where preschoolers feel secure and supported, encouraging open dialogue while being mindful of their emotional well-being.

Also it’s crucial to identify their previous knowledge of the event. Your child may have heard about September 11th through media or conversations in your family. They may have formed initial impressions or misconceptions. By understanding their existing awareness, you can address any misunderstandings and provide accurate information in a way that aligns with their age and comprehension.

Questions for Your Child:

• Have you ever heard of a special day called September 11th? What do you know about it?
• Do you know why some people call it “9/11”? What do you think that means?
• Have you seen any pictures or videos related to September 11th? What did you see in them?
• Do you know if something important happened on September 11th? Can you tell me what you think happened?
• Do you know about any heroes or brave people who helped others on that day?
• How do you think people felt when they heard about what happened on September 11th?
• Do you know if families or friends did anything special to remember or honor the people affected by September 11th?

Create a Safe Environment

Creating a safe environment for discussing September 11th with your child is essential to foster open and meaningful dialogue. First and foremost, choosing an appropriate time and place for the conversation is crucial. Select a setting where your child feels comfortable and secure. Timing is equally important, so opt for a moment when your child is relaxed and attentive, allowing them to absorb the information without feeling rushed or overwhelmed.

Once you have the right setting, focus on establishing an open and non-judgmental atmosphere. Encourage your child to share their thoughts, questions, and feelings freely, without fear of criticism. Show genuine interest in their responses and validate their emotions, fostering trust and a sense of safety. Avoid interrupting or dismissing their contributions, as every question and comment is an opportunity for learning and understanding. You can use the questions in Understanding Your Child to start this conversation. If your child has no questions or no previous knowledge or doesn’t want to share, you can start with by reading the books below:

This book, Survivor Tree by Marcie Colleen, is my best pick for younger children. The pictures are very basic but convey the message that something bad happened. It doesn’t go into much detail which is good for littles. This is the book I am using with my 6 year old and 4 year old this year.

This book, This Very Tree by Sean Rubin, is also a great book. It does show a little bit more details in the drawings so it would be for older children. I think next year I will use it with my oldest. It is a good fit for a 7-10 year old.

This book, What were the Twin Towers by Jimmy O’Conner, is a great book for older children. The first couple of chapters would be great for younger children, but it goes a bit deeper into the actual events. There are images depicting the events and the later chapters have a lot of details. I would give this to an older elementary child to middle school child.

This book, Nine, Ten: A September 11 Story by Nora Raleigh Baskin, is great for a middle school child or a very mature late elementary school child. It looks at the events and the days leading up to it (and a year later) from different children’s perspectives. It is very interesting to see how everyone saw everything around them and how it is interconnected. This is very interesting to me because I was in 8th grade on September 11th so these kids are a bit older than me.

Encouraging Empathy and Compassion

Encouraging empathy and compassion in preschoolers when discussing September 11th is a powerful way to cultivate a sense of understanding and unity. Help your child understand the feelings of others affected by the event by introducing stories of individuals who experienced loss, heroism, or acts of kindness on that day. By highlighting the emotions experienced by those directly impacted, your child can begin to grasp the significance of empathy and the importance of acknowledging and validating others’ emotions. Using some of the books from above can help with this process.

Incorporating acts of kindness into your child’s daily lives reinforces the values of empathy and compassion to bring these abstract concepts to concrete concepts. Encourage them to engage in simple acts of kindness, such as helping a friend, sharing toys, or offering words of comfort to someone who may be upset. By practicing these acts regularly, your child can develop a natural inclination towards empathy, building a foundation of compassion that will influence their interactions with others throughout their lives. By nurturing empathy and compassion in preschoolers, we empower them to be caring and thoughtful individuals who can contribute positively to the world around them, promoting harmony and understanding in their communities. I challenge you to find a local project that your child can participate in this Patriot’s Day (September 11th).

Addressing Concerns

Providing reassurance and coping strategies is vital to address any potential anxieties or concerns your child may have during this conversation. A crucial aspect of this process involves reassuring preschoolers about their safety in all situations. By emphasizing your efforts to ensure their well-being, your child can feel more secure and protected. It is essential to communicate that there are measures in place to keep them safe. Also that their daily routines and environments are remaining stable and supportive.

Teaching your child simple coping strategies for dealing with upsetting news empowers them with tools to manage their emotions effectively. Encourage them to express their feelings openly to help them process their emotions in a healthy and constructive manner. Breathing exercises or mindfulness techniques can be introduced to calm their minds during moments of distress. Additionally, offering soothing activities can provide preschoolers with a sense of comfort and control over their emotions.

Wrapping the Conversation Up

Concluding the discussion about September 11th with your child is an essential part of the process, ensuring that the conversation leaves a lasting positive impact. To effectively conclude, it’s important to summarize the key points of the conversation by recapping the significant aspects of the event, emphasizing the positive aspects of human resilience, unity, and acts of kindness that emerged from the tragedy. This summary reinforces the core messages and helps your child retain the information in a simple and meaningful way.

Reiterating the importance of open communication and questions encourages your child to continue expressing their thoughts and feelings freely. Emphasize that questions are a natural part of learning and that it’s okay to seek understanding and clarity. By reinforcing the value of open dialogue, you create an environment where your child feels comfortable seeking information and sharing their emotions, fostering trust and deeper connections.

Also, express your availability for future conversations if needed. Let your child know that you are always there to support and listen to them. This reassurance ensures that preschoolers feel supported and cared for as they continue to process the information about September 11th. It also opens the door for ongoing communication and learning opportunities, reinforcing your commitment to nurturing their understanding and empathy for years to come.

Questions for Your Child:

1. What are some of the important things we talked about today regarding September 11th?
2. Can you tell me about a brave person or hero you learned about from our discussion?
3. How do you think people felt when they helped each other on that day?
4. Do you have any questions or things you would like to know more about?
5. What are some ways we can be kind and helpful to others, just like people were on September 11th?
6. Is there anything you still feel curious or worried about after our conversation?

In conclusion, discussing September 11th with preschoolers presents a delicate yet essential opportunity to foster empathy, compassion, and understanding from a young age. As you guide your child through the discussion, you will plant seeds of compassion that will shape their future interactions and contributions to a more peaceful society. By approaching this conversation with sensitivity, you empower the next generation to build bridges of understanding and create a world where empathy and compassion are at the forefront of their thoughts and actions.

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